How time flies!

It is now almost 12 weeks since my newest bundle of joy arrived! I can't believe it! I just hope we are closer to 'sleeping through the night'. I am counting down the days as if there is a magic specific day that Barrett will sleep through the night. I think that I feel like once that happens, we can get on with life. I am missing my connection with friends. My husband and I try to be social, but find that we are coming up short because it is mostly just connecting with family and you can't replace a 'best friend'. I am feeling somewhat disconnected from my best friend Robin and am looking forward to the time when I can make more of an effort to see her more often. It especially comes to light when I go out walking in our neighborhood and realize I don't have a friend walking beside me to discuss life's events. Though the downpour of rain distracted me near the end of the walk, I really miss that time together. It was beneficial in more than one way...mostly emotional.It is amazing how much more we can handle if we just have an avenue to discuss, sometimes a spouse, but most of the time a friend. As we moved further apart, I don't want the actual friendship to do the same. Praise to friendships...prayer to help me work harder on maintaining them!

Baby Weight

What a struggle...mental that is. I want to be back to my pre-pregnancy weigth...fast! I know I need to give it time, but I just want to see SOME progress. The only thing I see shrinking are my stretch marks. LOL! I went on a search this morning for a diet that I can do. I am not sure I can do any of them...sad story isn't it?! We have given up excess sugars (i.e. desserts) and sodas and still nothing. That was about 4 weeks ago. I need a quick fix and I don't think it exists. How about Weight Watchers...great program..slow results. How about LOW CARB? I am miserable but it works. I even thought about diet pills which I haven't taken in about 10 years. Is Metabolife still even around? What to do...just keep pressing forward I guess. I think I need a support group or something to help motivate and make me accountable.

How peaceful!

my boys

  

All is wonderful!

It has been a little over 5 weeks since I gave birth. Not sure how I am going to fit blogging into the busy life I have at the moment, but I am going to try. I had a beautiful baby boy on June 23rd. After a full day of labor, we delivered at 4:23PM. I thought we were going to be delivering without the help of our trusted doctor since he was seeing patients. Everything went great, though! I felt like a million bucks after this delivery. I couldn't believe it! The second is definitely easier. I did have the epidural, but it had mostly worn off by the time I delivered, so I felt so much more than I did with Holden. I loved that! Barrett weighed in at 8 lbs and 6 oz. He looks nothing like his brother...it is so weird!

We are home now and recovering from 5 weeks of family staying with us. This is not highly recommended by me. I am just now able to figure out our schedule and I have started back to work part time this week. I go back full time on August 15th. Barrett is doing mostly great...likes to keep me up for a couple of hours about 4am. Holden is a great big brother.....so far! We are all adjusting well...thank the Lord!!!

Another week down

Just got back from my weekly doctor visit. All is still good. Baby Barrett is still in position and we are still on track for induction on June 23rd. If the sonogram is correct, Baby Barrett has lots of hair and is weighing in at a whopping 8# 7oz. He will most likely be over 9# by the time I induce! I can't believe it is only a week away. I ask for prayers that everything will continue to go smoothly!

My Husband

I love my husband, Branden, for making me feel good today. He posted an unsolicited blog and I read it. It brought tears to my eyes. I think we take for granted how lucky we are and I just got snapped back to reality. He truly is a blessing to my life!!! I could not ask for a better husband or father!

No More Monkeys...

I think that this really may be the theme of the day around our house. We are preparing for baby 'Barrett' and getting his room ready. In our ingenious thinking, we are going to move Holden to the new "MONKEY" room since it is bigger and give Barrett the baby room that Holden has been sleeping in for the last year...Holden is not so much going for it...screaming is more like it! I think that he likes his room. What to do...? I told my wonderful husband that we shouldn't change him if he doesn't want to change. He wants to try a couple of more days before giving in. We will try naps today. If that doesn't work, one more day and the switch will be off. Both rooms are equally cute, so I am indifferent. We just want Holden to have the bigger room since he is the bigger brother. Wow...he is already making up his mind and he is just 13 months! What lies ahead?

Prayers Worked

No C-Section!! I just went to the doctor today for my weekly BPP and checkup. Baby is head down like he is supposed to be. They say it is unlikely that he would move again since the head is the heaviest part of his body. He is weighing in at a whopping 7# 8oz at todays visit. He is definitely going to be an 8 pounder or bigger. I am very excited at the news!

Family Pics

As per a request from a friend, here are a few pictures of the family we had taken for Holden's 1-year birthday.

Update on the BPP

Just an update...worried for nothing!!!

Baby #2 (see we still have no name!) is fine. He scored 8/8 on his BPP. Dr. Roberts tells me that he is watching the baby closely because of my borderline gestational diabetes. He wants to make sure that the baby has enough amniotic fluid for him since it is somewhat reduced if you have gestational diabetes. He had plenty of fluid, but my blood sugar was out of control (190- EEEK!) Dr. Roberts wanted to know what I had eaten. Anyway, now I have to basically follow more of a lower carb diet (without sugar, mostly). He tells me that I will have to take some sort of medicine if it is not better next week. Also, the baby is weighing in at a whopping nearly 7#. He is going to really be big if we go full term. Not to mention, he is still in a transverse position. I ask that everyone that reads this will say a prayer for us that this baby 'takes a nose dive' and gets in position for me to deliver him without a C-section. I really don't want a C-section since the healing time is longer and I have a One-Year old to take care of. Obviously I have help, but I really want to be able to heal quicker than the C-Section would allow. All of that being said, I need to log off for today. I sincerely appreciate all prayers!

BPP

What is a Biophysical Profile anyway? I went to see my OB yesterday for my checkup and we have moved my appointments up to weekly now. He mentioned he is going to start doing a Biophysical Profile on me and the baby. He explained he is looking for signs that everything is well inside and that the baby has enough amniotic fluid. As long as he scores an 8 or better than we are going to stay on track for delivering at the end of June. If not, we will discuss. I thought that seems reasonable and he did not act overly concerned. He also did not tell me to change anything so I did not ask anymore questions. I then got to thinking about this and looked it up on the internet. OK...now I am kind of worried. I am making Branden go with me next week because he always thinks clearer and asks pertinent questions that I can't think of during those times. I feel 'him' moving around. He is in the position to deliver, so that is good. I will just have to wait and see. Please say a prayer for us that we are all doing well!

I Never Imagined...

It has been a really long time since I posted anything. Robin will be happy to see I finally did it! Quite frankly, I don't feel like I have the time at the moment, but I also feel like maybe having some friends advice on situations I am experiencing might not be a bad use of my time either.

Since my last post, I have found out that I am pregnant again.I was going to post about 'STICK SHOCK' because that is exactly what that was! Wow, that is exciting news considering the 6 years of Infertility that we went through. But....I don't think I could have imagined the anxiety that I am feeling about having another child and working full time. I feel so blessed on one hand, but so torn on the other. How can I do it? I have found myself getting anxious about things that I never think I would have been anxious over in the past. I have also found that I have had more conversations trying to get my husband to reassure me that things are going to be ok, when he is just 'doing it' and not worrying about things. He tells me I just need to relax. My question to him is 'how do I do that?" He says I just do things that I need to do because it needs to be done. I don't worry about everything else in between. I guess that is all fine and good, but how do we as Mom's really do that? I am finding myself worrying about everything in between. It can range from getting the laundry done to getting the menu made for the week. It is very interesting to actually think that I am in this position. I would have given anything to have a child and now, here I am with two (or soon enough). It is crazy what God has given us! I know that he doesn't give you more than you can handle, but sometimes I don't know if I am handling it well at all. Maybe this is a bit of the extra dose of hormones that I am producing, but it is also really real!

This anxiety is also consistent with feelings of inadequacies. I am quite bothered when someone takes something that I am supposed to be doing or be able to get done and does it for me (both at home and at work). I tell myself that they mean absolutely nothing by it, but it really feeds into my feelings of inadequacies. I know someone is going to say that you are more than 8 mos pregnant, so let people help you. I seriously know that is exactly what the intent of most of them are, but I don't want to be thought of as helpless. This really comes to a head when someone does something for my son that I should be doing like bathing him or rocking him to sleep! That is my job! That is my time to bond with him and yet I can't hold him close to me like before because of this pregnancy. I can't lean over to wash him because of this pregnancy! I should welcome the help! I do in one way because it is getting done, but it will create a night of insomnia worrying about it. I know that it is just a matter of weeks before that part is over, but will I have the time then? I sound like a raving maniac, and I am not. Maybe just a pregnant one! :)